Life is chaos sometimes and the last 4 months have been flat out at the office. (In a good way) Pretty much solid work. Saturdays off and most Sundays in the office.
A health drama at home in the middle of it and life has been carnage for a while.
Something came to mind on the dog walk this morning:
Routine and having a goal or target works for me.
Had the dog not been in my life I can imagine it would have been very easy to not be up at 0500 hrs and outside in the fresh air.
Had my constant need to build my engine so I can be my best self exercise-wise not been a goal it would have been a tougher few months.
These two things:
The dog and my health / physical goals have kept me going through this upside down phase.
A couple of days off now. The body I can sense needs some r and r. I know the brain needs some r and r but the brain is still firing, thinking about work, jobs to do, people I should call and emails I must write or action.
There have been a few days in the last couple of weeks where I was like- wtf am I doing, I need to stop. The internal voice battles at times have been brutal.
The plan for 2025 and my phys gets built in November so I can start in November or December. Reflecting on what I want to train for is posing tough.
I am blessed in life as I have trained for some amazing races and challenges. The soul is always hunting the next big thing and no race has jumped out at me. No idea of just setting off and doing something on my own has jumped out at me.
I ask if it is a race I need or if is it time to keep building the engine up and getting strong. Is this a phase of rebuilding?
All in all, I know I need a focus. I need to know “why” I am going to the gym at 8 pm, or eating chicken and veg again… The reason behind it for me has to be strong so I can work and navigate my way through the chaos and surprises in life and navigate the good times as well.
Plus keep my mental brain working for me not against me. The internal voices can quickly defeat me if I do not stay on top of them. Yes, I have numerous internal voices…
