The symphony that is tinnitus.
The ringing. The whistling. The constant fire alarm. The noise intrudes into almost every part of life.
Unseen. It is not a visible issue. No one knows it is there apart from the person who lives with it and finds it rather challenging to put words to the actual noise as an explanation.
Plus I have a sense of fullness in the right ear. Almost like it is blocked. I awake with the sensation of a moist inner ear.
Yesterday I found myself actually struggling to hear in the office. I just suddenly realised the noise in my head was pretty much louder than the lads talking in the office. How bizarre it was. I then clocked. Barbera as I have called the Tinnitus for years is having a funny 5 minutes at the moment. The positive – I was not really aware she was having a tantrum. Being a bit deaf was the point I clocked.
I sit in silence listening to Barbera the T. Comedy gold this as there is no silence. It is actually a screaming fire alarm just on the right side of my head. So last night I sat and listened to Barbera. Wow, she is moody as hell. Super loud and a lot of different pitches as well.
Overnight – I figure I have brought my attention back to the T I noticed how effing loud it was when I awoke in the night.
Moody Barbera the tinnitus is rocking. So I go into a place where I start to reality check: I think why is this worse?
What could it possibly be?
Food, Sleep, dehydration, not enough veg, exercise, air pressure, humidity, tiredness and the list goes on.
It really is days like today that I realise how the mind is the key. At 0545hrs this morning I had a decision to make. I was unaware of the decision. I could choose to hate on the Tinnitus or just move on and forget about it.
I remember thinking, effing hell the noise in my head is rocking and then moving on from it. I forgot and got up and cracked on.
A SPLIT in time….could have taken my day to a good or rubbish place.
Life is good.
Comedy, banter and laughter really do change the world.
No one really cares what you do.