Reflection is a great thing.
Not living in the past. But being able to reflect on the actions, the emotions, the time, the things that happened. On how I reacted to a situation.
Then I take the time to be aware of the present moment and how the reflection can empower me to be a better human.
Life presents lessons. I have royally fucked up in life at times. I have reflected and learnt. Yet fucked up again.
The system, the world is a fantastic place. We are shown how to live life to fit in. One thing I have never been great at is fitting in. I have never followed the crowd.
I have always gone down the path that I have chosen. Right or wrong. I have never really been able to follow the crowds.
Time has taken me to silence. The tinnitus I live with has created a place of pain, frustration and anger at times. The last few years I have learnt to sit in silence and listen. Just listen to the ringing in my right ear.
A journey of self-testing. It is hard just listening to the one thing that annoys the eff out of me.
This week has been a week that presented quite a personal challenge. Emotional pain around death. Emotional pain around the fact I have attended way way way more funerals than weddings. Death creates pain. Trauma.
For me, the ringing this week has not been present. A week of massive stress. Yet I have not been aware of the noise.
It is with me now. Yet the last 72 hours I have not heard Barbera the ringing noise.
This is truly amazing. Strange. Or is it?
So at this point, I know: Here it is.
Nothing strange. No weird sense of anything. Just ‘here it is’
My soul knew that pain was around the corner. I found myself needing to run. I ran for almost 10 days straight. Then the pain began. I look back and this is how I have coped with life before and after so much previous pain. Running.
Exercise keeps the body supple. Exercise is discipline.
Silence keeps the mind clear and free.
Exercise the mind and body a lot. It prepares you for life. We never know what is through the next door.
Be prepared for the good and the tough.
Remember:
No one cares.
Protect yourself. Get strong for yourself.
Make your own path. Not the one that we are persuaded to follow.
